Learn to Listen, Learn to be Loved -- Dr Ali Khwaja

Learn to Listen, Learn to be Loved -- Dr Ali Khwaja
While we put in so much time, effort and money to get a good education, acquire qualifications and develop different skills, we often neglect the fact that more learning takes place from the people around us. Our life skills are dependent on our in-depth interactions, and healthy relationships.
 

Listening
 
Many a time we love to talk, rather than to listen. We don't give full attention and do not make a sincere effort to understand and learn what the other person says. The famous Stephen Covey, of 7-Habits fame, said: Most of the time we do not listen with the intent to understand; we listen with the intent to reply.
 
 
    
   
Why don't we listen? Why do we want to talk rather than listen? Is it because we are highly opinionated about the person and/or the issue about which he/she is talking? Or is it because nobody listens to us, and we are mimicking the same? Or is it our cynical attitude that makes us think, “what is there to listen”?
 
Loving
 
We also do not allow people an opportunity to be nice to us – either by brushing them away, or by imposing our own ideas on them. Why is it difficult for us to accept niceness when it comes our way?
Look below at this proverb, and reflect on it. 
Because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.--Unknown
 
Most of us are intrinsically good. We all love and try to be nice to others, in our own ways. Don't we feel bothered when we hurt someone intentionally? If we are hurt by others, intentionally or unintentionally, don't we often silently suffer, rather than confront them? So, isn't it worth our time and efforts to cultivate healthy and loving relationships?
 
There is so much of love floating around in the world, and we too have so many opportunities to feel the joy of love in our hearts. Let us not lose those moments of joy because we are too busy with mundane matters that are transitory, and do not affect our lives at all.
 
 
Shall we try to invest more in our relationships, and thus gain, in innumerable ways, to make our lives a joy, every day?
 
Let’s start today.
 
Dr Ali Khwaja A Montessorian, an engineering graduate of IIT, MIE, MIIM, with a Ph.D in behavioral sciences - Ali Khwaja is the founder and head of Banjara Academy, a unique institution committed to improvement of quality of life. He nurtures and motivates over 200 Helping Hand volunteers to give free service in 10 hospitals in Bengaluru and Banjara Academy’s own counselling centres. Also conducts courses in  Counselling Skills.  And still finds time for causes as wide as adoption, disability welfare, “true” education, life skills, and counselling.
Dr. Ali Khwaja can be contacted at : alikhwaja@banjaraacademy.org
 
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